Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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