So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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