I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
