Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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