i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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