i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
