Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
