oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
No more Irish car bombs ever.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
