i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize