I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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