It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
