i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Randomize
