sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
