We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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