Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
