I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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