john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Someone came in the potted fern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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