break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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