google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
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