Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
