I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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