Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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