why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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