the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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