Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
