My room smells like vodka and shame
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize