we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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