Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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