Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
