who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
