my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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