You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Randomize
