omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Can you bring me the toilet please
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Randomize