remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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