There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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