i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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