Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
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He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
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there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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