I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
