Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
