Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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