you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
