i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
