She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
