those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i came on her dog
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
