All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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