this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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