its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
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