What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
