just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
