Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I think I sprained my soul last night
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
