ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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