i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You made out with two different species that night
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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