Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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