You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I just want to make out with him forever
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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