i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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