K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
