she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
