Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
