bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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