I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
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