I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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