i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize