I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
