Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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